


I've Loved Everything About You That Hurts

by wayward_winter_soldier



Series: I'm Not Supposed to Love You [2]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Abuse, Cisco Ramon Needs A Hug, Cisco Ramon Whump, Creepy Eobard Thawne | Harrison Wells, Emotional Manipulation, Gen, Hair-pulling, Hurt Cisco Ramon, Kidnapping, M/M, Manipulative Eobard Thawne | Harrison Wells, Non-Consensual Bondage, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Non-Consensual Kissing, Non-Consensual Touching, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Scars, Suicide Attempt, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-17 02:33:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29585904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wayward_winter_soldier/pseuds/wayward_winter_soldier
Summary: Just when things seem to be looking up for Cisco he's forced back into the life that had taken him so long to escape from. Thawne is back and he has Cisco. Can Team Flash get their family member back before something terrible happens?THIS IS A SEQUEL TO "The Labor of My Love" GO READ THAT FIRST!!!
Relationships: Cisco Ramon & Earth-2 Harrison "Harry" Wells, Cisco Ramon/Eobard Thawne | Harrison Wells
Series: I'm Not Supposed to Love You [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2173572
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	1. I Think That God is Gonna Have to Kill Me Twice

**Author's Note:**

> okay, so you guys seemed like you wanted a sequel, so here it is! i know, poor cisco can never catch a break!
> 
> enjoy!

> "Woke up on the wrong side of reality  
>  And there's a madness that's just coursing right through me  
>  And as far as the time, far as the time  
>  Not sure I'm there yet but I'm certain I've arrived"
> 
> _\- Fall Out Boy, Young and Menace_

* * *

When Cisco woke up he immediately knew he was not in a familiar place. He couldn't exactly pinpoint the exact piece of the setting that was the first to tip him off, but he assumed it was a mix of the dark room that looked like an unfinished basement, the chain fastened around his ankle that attached to the cement walls that gave off the blue glow of a Meta dampener, the old Army cot he laid on, or the fact that he was definitely wearing less clothing than he remembered putting on that day.

The flannel button-down he had been wearing since he woke up that morning was gone, as were his shoes and socks. A small part of his brain told him that he at least still had his pants and he quickly reminded that portion of his brain that that was a pathetic observation to make. Any position where he celebrated still having pants on was not a situation he wanted to find himself in.

Cisco's head hurt, though he wasn't exactly sure why. He didn't remember much. He was at Joe's for Friday night dinner, that he knew. They had eaten a couple of hours before and now they were getting ready to watch a movie. They were going to watch _The Exorcist_ since only Cisco and Harry had seen it (though Cisco was unsure if Earth-2's _Exorcist_ differed from Earth-1's). Then the was... it was blurry.

No, that was the point. It had been blurry.

Thawne.

Realization hit Cisco like a piano falling from a window in an old cartoon. He sat up from the cot and began to pull on the chain that attached him to the wall. He knew it was pointless but all rational thoughts had left his mind the moment he realized who had taken him. His powers were dampened, though, so he couldn't even sonic blast his way out. He was stuck. In a place that he had hoped to never return. The arms of Eobard Thawne.

Fate had dealt Cisco Ramon the cruelest hand she had in her deck, he thought bitterly. He was just beginning to recover and come to terms with what had happened to him. Now he was trusted back into his worst nightmare and there was no escape. 

He would die here.

* * *

Barry slammed his fist against the wall, anger overtaking him and making him uncaring towards the pain that now radiated through his hand. He had searched everywhere he could think of. Cisco was nowhere to be found.

"Barry, you need to calm-"

"How the hell am I supposed to be calm, Joe? Cisco's been taken. Thawne's back, and he's taken Cisco!"

Joe looked like he wanted to argue but he remained silent. There was no point in trying to get through to Barry when he was like this. 

"We'll find him," Iris voiced from the living room, where she hadn't moved from even after Cisco had been kidnapped.

Caitlin looked like she also wanted to reassure Barry but she was busy trying to get her crying under control. The doctor wasn't usually one to cry, but when she did it was terribly sorrow-filled.

Harry had yet to say anything. In fact, he had disappeared and Barry suspected he had gone outside as to not destroy Joe's home. He had a habit of throwing things when he was upset, and at that moment he was extremely upset.

"We will find him, Barr," Joe continued, not knowing what else to say. 

"Cisco is back with the man that caused him so much pain, Joe. He's scared and hurt and he has no one. He's in hell."

Barry rubbed his sore hand, tears leaking out of his eyes as he bowed his head, not wanting to make eye contact with anyone in the house. It was hard not to blame himself for Cisco being taken. He was the Flash, he should have protected him. How could the Flash save everyone in Central City but his best friend?

Shouldering off the comforting hand Joe attempted to place on Barry's arm, he walked out the front door, needing fresh air and a chance to think. He hadn't expected to find Harry sitting on the front porch, nor the evidence of tears that stained his face.

"This is all my fault," Barry declared as he sat next to the doctor, knees up and arms hugging them like he was a frightened child who had just awoken from a terrible nightmare.

"No, it's not," Harry said, his voice a bit rough from crying. "It's none of our faults. We couldn't have seen this coming."

"Do you really believe that?"

"Believe what?"

"That none of us are to blame?"

Harry gave a sight side-ways glance towards the Speedster. "Why do you ask that?"

"Because I have never seen you cry. Because you had gotten close to Cisco. Because you have this sort of self-pity aura around you."

Harry sighed deeply. "Maybe it is my fault."

"How so?"

Harry shrugged, running a hand through his hair. "I don't know, but I'm sure I can come up with something."

Barry chuckled humorlessly. "I think that's a sign that you're not to blame."

"Then neither are you," Informed Harry.

Barry looked up towards the night sky. "Yeah, you're probably right."

"I usually am."

* * *

There were footsteps approaching and Cisco could feel his heart begin to beat rapidly in preparation for who entered the room. He knew who it would be, but it still hurt seeing his face and how much it resembled Harry's.

"Hello, pet."

Cisco sneered internally at the name. Externally, he flinched. 

"I'm so glad to have you back," the Speedster spoke softly, his voice low and hardly above a stage whisper, most likely for dramatic effect. He continued to walk towards the cot Cisco sat upon, not seeming to care that with each step he took Cisco tried to push himself farther and farther back into the wall.

"How are you here?" Cisco asked, his voice higher than he would have liked. "You're dead."

"That's the thing about time travel, my dear," Thawne said, finally standing right next to Cisco, so close he could touch him. "People never really stay dead all that long."

The Speedster reached out to touch Cisco, who moved his head away from Thawne's fingers. That didn't seem to phase him much though, as he simply grabbed at Cisco's long hair and held it in a tight grip, pulling it so Cisco's face met his in a tender kiss that was not reciprocated. 

"You're mine, forever and ever, pet. I won't have you running away ever again."

Cisco felt a tear trail down his cheek in fear of what Thawne would do with him.


	2. I Save Coupons From Packets of Tea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello all! i am so totally behind on my updates and I'm so sorry for that!
> 
> i hope you enjoy the chapter though!

> "I wasn't born so much as I fell out  
> Nobody seemed to notice me  
> We had a hedge back home in the suburbs  
> Over which I never could see"
> 
> **_\- Lost in the Supermarket, The Clash_ **

* * *

Cisco wasn't sure when he fell back asleep. There wasn't a window present in the room for the sun to peer through and there was no clock that ticked away the minutes of Cisco's captivity. There was nothing but his internal clock and it was spotty at best.

He had no idea what Thawne's ploy was either. So far nothing terrible had happened, though Cisco wasn't stupid enough to think that that would last long. He knew Thawne better than anyone. He always had a reason for his actions. It was never random and unorganized.

Cisco sat up in the cot, his eyes gazing down at the Meta cuff around his ankle. He knew then. That wasn't a good sign. Cisco had hoped that his powers would be a saving grace. How did he know?

He wanted to go home. Cisco knew it was a childish thought but he didn't care. Being so close to Thawne again brought up horrible memories that he had hoped to bury when he destroyed the man's computer and journal. This wasn't fair. What did he do to deserve any of this?

The door clicked open and Cisco felt his heart beat rapidly in his chest. He was scared. He had every right to be scared but it still felt as if he was being weak. Cisco knew anyone else in his situation would be acting the same way he was now. Barry, Harry, any one of his friends. This was rational behavior. It was okay to not be okay.

"My beautiful pet," Thawne mused as he entered the basement room, a sugary sweet smile on his lips as he approached the engineer.

"I'm not your pet. Now let me go!"

Thawne only chuckled lightly, as if Cisco were a child trying to act tough. "My sweetness, you are mine. Must I really remind you of that fact?"

Cisco had no idea what reminding him would involve but he knew he wanted nothing to do with it.

"They'll come looking for me."

"Oh, I bet they will," Thawne continued, coming closer and closer towards Cisco. "Barry is looking, but he won't find you. No one will."

He was reaching out towards Cisco now. The shorter man whimpered and tried to move away from the Speedster's grasp, but there was nowhere for him to go. Thawne grabbed his wrists and pinned him to the bed. Tears began to pour from Cisco's eyes. He knew what was going to happen to him. He knew exactly what was going on.

"Now be a good boy for me and you might just get a reward," Thawne mused as he began to slowly pull Cisco's jeans off, despite his weak struggles.

"No, I don't want to!" Cisco declared as if that would be enough to make Thawne stop.

There was suddenly a slap to Cisco's face and he cried out.

"I don't care what you want."

Cisco knew the man was telling the truth. What Cisco wanted didn't matter to Thawne. He would take what he wanted and leave Cisco to wallow in his own self-pity and demise. Thawne was insane and vengeful and possessive. He saw Cisco as his personal property and nothing Cisco could say or do would change the man's mind.

Cisco felt Thawne flip him over onto his stomach. He sobbed into the pillow waiting for everything to be over. Because that was all he was capable of doing.

* * *

Harry threw a screwdriver clear across Cisco's workshop, not caring if it hit something or broke anything. He didn't care anymore. He couldn't bring himself to.

If Cisco were there, he would scold the older man and tell him to go throw his own stuff around. But Cisco wasn't here, so Harry threw as much stuff around as he so pleased.

Cisco. A person Harry had at first seen as a sort of science experiment. Now he was more like the son he never had. Oh, how Harry wished he could have remained cold and analytical about the entire situation, but even he wasn't that heartless. 

Cisco Ramon was a very special person who deserved every good thing that could happen to a person. He received none of that though. It seemed as if the world was out to destroy the poor young man and Harry didn't understand it. He wasn't one to believe in supernatural happenings or anything spiritual, but it seemed as if some higher entity had a grudge against Cisco. 

Harry took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes. He hadn't had a good night's sleep since Thawne had taken Cisco. Every time he slept he dreamed of all the terrible things that could be happening to Cisco at that very minute. It wasn't fair, damn it! None of it was fair.

Harry would find Cisco if it was the last thing he did.

It was the least the young engineer deserved.

* * *

Thawne left after raping Cisco and came back only a couple of hours later, a stray of food in his hands.

Cisco continued to lay on the cot. He had bunched himself into a small protective ball as if that alone was enough to keep Thawne from harming him once more. He was not that naive, but it was a comforting thought to have nevertheless. 

"I brought you dinner. You must be hungry."

Cisco wasn't hungry. He felt as if he would puke at any moment. He ignored the sound of the metal tray clinking against the cement floor. There was a sigh from Thawne.

"My love, you must eat."

"I'm not your love," Cisco spat back.

Another sigh. This man loved sighing.

"I know it's been a while since we've been together and those 'friends' of yours have corrupted your mind, but I still care deeply for you. I love you, Francisco."

"Love is not kidnapping," Cisco stated, not moving from his position. "Love is not rape."

"It wasn't rape, you liked it."

"No, I didn't. Leave me alone if you're not going to let me go. It's the least you owe me, I think."

Cisco hadn't expected Thawne to listen but he did. Cisco heard the soft click of the lock being replaced on the door. Thawne was playing the long game, then. This was not a temporary situation. He wanted to pick up right where they had left off.

Cisco intended to do no such thing.


	3. Right At the Back of My Head it Hit Me Like a Beam of Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, school has been crazy busy so i'm really sorry that i haven't updated any of my fics recently! I've also just been really tired emotionly and i needed a break from writing and editing and such, so i apologize.
> 
> on with the chapter!!!!

> "I try my best to unwind  
> Nothing on my mind but you  
> Oblivious to all that I'll owe  
> I'm hanging on  
> To what I don't know"
> 
> _\- I Always Knew, The Vaccines_

* * *

Cisco curled up as best as he could with the chain still around his ankle. His pants were gone; Thawne hadn't returned them. Cisco knew he should feel self-conscious about only wearing his T-shirt and boxers, but he couldn't seem to care at the moment. Was that a sign of breaking? Cisco wasn't positive, though he would bet it was. Maybe he was breaking and giving up. Maybe it didn't matter if he did or not. What was the point of trying to keep a brave face and resiting Thawne's wishes? He would get what he wanted from Cisco either way. 

They wouldn't find him, he thought to himself as he wrapped his arms around his legs, scrunching into a tiny ball atop the uncomfortable cot. He could hope and pray for Barry to speed through that door, but it wouldn't happen. Thawne was smart, a lot smarter than any of them. He must have hidden Cisco away in a place Barry would never look. They would never find him.

He would die here for sure.

Cisco considered it for a moment as he sat up, allowing his legs to now dangle off the side of the cot. Why even try to hold out if he was resigned to a cruel and terrible life in the hands of the enemy? He looked at the chain that connected his ankle to the wall. It was rather long as to allow Cisco to use the toilet. Thawne's charity wouldn't end well for him, Cisco said to himself bitterly as he collected the length of the chain in his hands, his fingers tightening around the cold metal. Was he really going to do this? Did he have a choice?

He closed his eyes tightly, taking deep breaths to calm himself down. This was the only way out. 

So Cisco opened his eyes and began to wrap the chain around his neck to choke himself out and eventually kill him.

* * *

Barry rested his head against his hand as he sat at the Cortex comms, waiting for the satellite to pick up anything that could help them find Cisco. So far there had been nothing and Barry was beginning to lose hope. What if Cisco was dead? What if he wasn't even in Central City anymore, or on Earth-2? It was a possibility that they couldn't overlook. There had been no recent Breach activity, though, so they could at least rule out the other Earth theory.

But still, Cisco could be on a different continent by now. Maybe Barry ought to look elsewhere. 

"Barry, you need to sleep."

The Speedster looked up at the sound of Caitlin's voice and her heels against the tiled floor of the Cortex. He sighed, a sad smile on his face as he sat up straight, his back cracking loudly as he did.

"I need to be here when the satellites pick up something useful."

"Do you really think I wouldn't tell you the moment they went off? And besides, you could get here in seconds from your apartment. At least sleep in the med bay or something if you don't want to go home right now."

"How are you keeping it together?"

Caitlin gave Barry a confused and almost hurt look. "Excuse me?"

Barry stood, coming closer to the doctor. "I don't mean it in a rude way. I just... you're staying so professional and level-headed. How?"

Caitlin pursed her lips, not making eye contact with Barry as she considered her response. "It's just... maybe I'm too used to losing people I love. Ronnie. Jay. I don't want to say that I'm used to it, because I know I never will be, but maybe that's why. I dunno, Barry. I'm trying to look at everything through a professional and clinical lens, that's all."

Barry nodded, thinking about her words. Maybe that's what his problem was. Maybe he had to separate his emotions from the situation. 

He wasn't so sure he could do that, but he could always give it a try.

* * *

Harry heard heavy footsteps enter the workshop and he knew immediately who it was.

"Hello, Detective."

Joe gave a small chuckle. "How'd you know it was me?"

"Your footsteps," Harry said simply. He reached over and pulled one of the desk chairs out. "Sit, please."

Joe did, a sigh escaping as he did. He clasped his hands together in his lap, his eyes watching Harry carefully. "Are you doing okay?"

"What do you mean?"

"I know you and Cisco were close-"

"We weren't that close," Harry interrupted, his eyes not leaving the brightness of the computer screen. "Not really."

"Wells, you can talk to me. We're all hurting-"

"Detective, no offence, but I'm not one to talk about my feelings."

Joe was silent for a moment, thinking about his next approach. "I have kids. I know what it's like. If Barry or Iris was in this situation, I'd be terrified. Hell, I'm terrified for Cisco as it is."

"Ramon isn't my son. I don't have a son."

"I'm not blind, Doctor. No one here is. I know you've been a sort of father figure towards Cisco and that you've been helping him work out his trauma. That's nothing to be ashamed of. You don't have to be embarrassed because you care about someone."

Harry sighed and turned to finally look at Joe. He willed himself not to cry. He was not going to cry in front of Joe West, there was no way. "Ramon... Cisco... he reminds me a lot of my daughter, Jesse. At first, when I was trying to figure out everything that was happening, I tried to look at it as a sort of science experiment. Very clinical and detached. I thought I could do it, but after I saw what he did to Cisco I... I imagined what it would be like if the same thing happened to Jesse and how I'd react. I just... I wanted him to at least have a person there to talk to when things got rough. He deserved that much."

Joe nodded, encouraging Harry to continue.

"It's just... maybe I felt guilty since the monster that did this to him has my face. I'm not sure. All I knew is that I wanted to make it okay. I knew I couldn't, logically, but then again, when is parenting ever logic?"

Joe smiled and reached over to pat Harry on the shoulder. The man didn't flinch or try and pull away from the touch.

"We're gonna get him back."

Harry nodded. "I know. Cause I have a plan."


End file.
